Wednesday, 22 November 2006

Post Birthday Blues


It was my birthday yesterday and my age, scary....well in three years I'd be thirty. I have so much to accomplish in 3 years because a few goals have been set through to that time.

Back to my birthday, well i didnt realise a lot of people cared about me....I had to constantly ask callers to introduce themselves (well i deleted half the people in my contact list).

It started with my mum calling, then brothers, sisters, friends, etc etc....

Surprises- got loads of presents including snake charming and belly dancing lessons in Morroco (unusual), perfumes, candles, a weekend club hopping including the famous funky Buddha amongst others....every gift was well appreciated. In fact the finest things in life are simple. The thought is what counts.

I must admit the effort i have put in eating this past week and I am still a size 8, I am not even growing....

The highlight of my birthday was between 6pm and 7pm, its was nice to finally have a "proper" birthday (whichever way you interprete that)....

The issue now is the fear of ageing,,,i miss my 21st birthday....! No one addresses me as young girl anymore....the issue of my mum desperately seeking a grandchild from me is another kettle of fish all together.

Well i have started making enquiries about possible sperm donors...I have made a list of possible candidates but they dont really fit the bid...I mean he doesnt have to be perfect, just a few prerequisites that includes : a 6 ft4 Caucasian preferably Irish, financially and physically handsome, freckle free, blue/green eyes, NO tattoos, social drinker, Non Smoker, drugs a NO NO (what sort of child will i bear? Not ready for a demented child....ah yes...educated..at least to Degree level (ideally a doctorate student would be preferred), Should have invented something useful, must love art, a perfect cook...no Jamie Oliver impersonator..infact he should rival Gary Rhodes...er...er........this would suffice for now.... I am not asking for too much....i want the perfect baby!
As I have been given a deadline or an ultimatum.....whatever they call it*
M'je

Saturday, 11 November 2006

Nigerian women and shotgun weddings


What is it with Nigerian women and marriage? what has gotten into all of us? Why the hurry?
There is a wise saying that, "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a step" but my 9ja sisters want to start running. Marriage is where you are going to spend the rest of your life, so why the rush....I mean if i am spending the rest of my life (dont forget you forfeit your freedom forever- In the Nigerian context) with a man, I might as well wait a while. In fact this topic should be beaten and bludgeoned to death...marriage is meant to be a wonderful institution but in recent times it has caused immense sorrow..who do we blame now? Well the onus lies on shotgun weddings.

My 9ja sisters all get pregnant before marriage as a way of securing a man and the first 10 years of marraige she sleeps in church praying and fasting for her so-called son-of-a-bitch she calls her husband to come home....apparently there is word around town that he is with a younger sisi in a trendy bar on Victoria Island and i bet my fame on it that they would proceed to some tacky guest house in Lekki phase 1. The sister in question is downhearted and begins to cry...but the truth is, she forced/cajoled him to marry her and he never loved her. She trapped him with an innocent child.

Honestly, its easy for a man to marry "any" woman in Nigeria as the culture permits extra marital affairs...so he can eat his cake as well as have it with extra puddings.

Any woman who dares cheat on her husband is seen as an adultress and is sent out of her home by her In-laws. Its about time Nigeria women learn...even with all the education and exposure some still behave like they have been in a cocoon all their lives.

I cant conceive in my heart why i need to pray and fast for a man who is supposed to be my soulmate to come home, why would i spend an extra minute with a man who has no affection for me.? How can i go on knowing that my man is shagging some other girl...and reaking of her perfume? Tell me how....

I have to be brutally honest but I have come to the conclusion that marriage is not for everybody....so sisters take it easy, just because your younger sister got married 5 years ago doesnt mean its late for you. It means yours is going to happen in style...but you need to be patient and wait for the right man.

I am the next in line in my house to get married (so it seems, as my immediate elder sister is pregnant for her fiancee). I have told whoever cares to listen that i have a quest to see the world, not to be wholed up like a prisoner in some remote place in Lagos, for instance a sorry excuse for a house in Okokomaiko dilapidated by neglect..what happens if the man is not financially handsome enough? I have no intentions of winning bread for any swine, any bread i win will be for myself and my children(when i have them of course).

So sisters of Nigeria, dust your passports, certificates and make yourself useful, see the world and integrate with different cultures...maybe...just maybe you'd find that special someone who would give you that respect you deserve...

M'je