Monday, 7 September 2009

The calm after the storm!

I got a call that morning at about 10am on Friday the 21st of August, it was my younger sister. She has called to inform me that a friend of mine had suddenly become a widow under bizzare circumstances. She was orphaned from an early age and lost her brother a couple of years ago. Now she is only 31 and lost the person dearest to her. Her husband. I mourned for her.

On Sunday the 23rd of August I had a conversation over coffee with a friend of mine who had lost her dad and I sympathized with her and said I didnt know what i would do if I lost my father. I told her I could die as we had become so close over the last couple of years. I saw the sadness in her eyes and my heart tugged a bit. I was lucky to still have my dad.

I had a premonition to go see my dad at 11pm on Tuesday the 25th of August, as he was in hospital from surgery. I had seen him earlier that day, but I just had to see him again as I couldnt sleep. I saw his lifeless body on the bed as i got to the hospital, but the doctor assured me he will be fine. The next morning at 8am I called in sick as I had to see an ENT doctor for my inflammed tonsils. Someone called me at 8.11am and said "sorry about your dad's death". He knew before me, that my dad had passed away shortly (in the wee hours of Wednesday morning) after i left his side. I mourned my dad. I didnt die!

I went home for the funeral rites. It still felt surreal... on Saturday the 29th of August while sitting quietly on what used to be my dad's favourite chair with a plate of rice in my hands, I got a call. Rachael had passed away from cerebral malaria. I had known her for about 9 years. She had called me about a project she was interested in 3 days before my dad's death. She was only 32, with 2 adorable kids. Her dreams died with her. I was too numb to mourn. I was exhausted. I lost all emotion or sense of touch. My entire being was vacant.

On the 5th of September I went for Rachael's funeral. After the interment I went to the clubhouse where I always had lunch with her to reminisce and ponder on life and its frailty. A friend of mine came to see me and told me her brother had an accident. A game of golf went wrong and the ball went flying into his eye. He is in medical school and may not specialize if he loses his eye. I hear his chances are slim. The doctors are even comtemplating on removing the eye. It tore my heart to peices. He is like a brother to me.

Paulet my dear friend, had a baby the day Rachael was buried. I saw my god-children that day. I smiled, there was some ray of sunlight, some laughter and a lot of hope. I know there is a time for everything like the book of ecclesiastes says. A time to mourn, a time to laugh. I believe the darkest hour has gone by, its now time to smile and move on with life.

I cant believe how well I have dealt with it. I am calm. I went back to work last week and have found closure with my dad's passing away. He lived a fufilled life.

M'je