Monday, 9 August 2010

Financially Handsome!

Is money everything? What do women want?

....the last question on my lips before I went to bed last night. Of course, it isn't. Last night, I was opportuned to partake in one of the silliest, funniest, loudest and most importantly baseless arguments of all time...with my in-laws, uncles and older friends.

We dissected the situation of a friend of ours...who is well over 40 and is looking to get hitched and has fallen prey to gold-diggers in the past. She keeps getting her fingers burnt and the issue of if we were in the same situation would we not give the man money?. Then the arguement digressed to female breadwinners!

There were 3 women arguing for and against. Me- your very own Mamuje, Ms G- a successful single lady in her forties and my sister in law, who is also in her forties. We all argued 'against' giving men money. While the men argued 'for'...stressing there was nothing wrong. Going by the way the arguement was going, It made me believe one or two of the men would probably sponge off their women. Which in my opinion is distasteful. Some African men loooooove to wear the trousers.

1) These are the points I raised: I believe that if its a double income family. I work, He works. We contribute equal hours to our places of employment. Then its fair we both share the domestic chores.

2) If he is the sole bread/dough winner then I am more than happy to be domesticated and be his woman of leisure. My main focus would be keeping myself beautiful for him :-)

3) I also believe that if I am the bread winner then the man should be responsible for the domestic work! Shikena! No mago mago! No cutting corners!

The guys argued that ALL women need is a nice and caring man....blah...blah....blah...blah....I know there may be times when a man may lose his job or his limb...blah blah blah...or times may be hard....blah..blah...yeah we know..but after the trials...dust yourself up and get a job!

I personally don't think money is everything, but surely its makes most things possible + life comfortable, else we won't be striving for a better life. But I would consider my comfort first. And If I happen to fall in love with a man who barely has enough. Then It will be my duty to make him work harder to give us a better life. The whole idea of giving a man money...feeding him and giving him pocket money wont happen with me (I can barely support myself let alone a grown ass man). Ideally if the financially handsome man that I desire isnt forthcoming...(more often than not, I am in the habit of dating stingy aliens. Hopefully, moving forward, I will meet some normal humans.) then we will need to re-strategize.

And some very useless news: Oh...I saw what was meant to be my 'husband' a few days ago. Unfortunately, I divorced him before he proposed.



ZeL said...

LMAO. Good points made. I agree with u 100%. Wonderful post!

SHE said...

Of course it is important for both partners to have money. But its usually more trouble if the woman has more.

Men and their stupid egos. Who wants to give all her money to a man anyways? mscheew.

I agree with you jare.

Nice Anon said...

well you have to be married first for it to be considered a divorce isn't it?

Mena UkodoisReady said...

From Aba to Alabama and Saudi to New Zealand, it is best for the man to be the breadwinner.

Whether Mr Madonna, (Ritchie), Mr Halle Berry or Mr Reese Witherspoon, I have not seen the man who is happy with playing househusband or secondary bread winner

...then again, I forgot about Mr Queen of England.

To each their own sha, but this urhobo chic wont have it any other way.

Myne Whitman said...

I agree with all three points. Not surprised it is men arguing againt, lol...As for you supposed to be husband, you're so wicked...

LucidLilith said...

I agree...don't give a man free handouts. He will either resent you or take advantage and then dump you. They are built to be providers...if it is a double income, then share home chores and bills accordingly.

As for the 40 yr old looking for a mate, I would advise to look for guys in her income bracket.

musco said...

LOL at the last paragraph!

Though I'm a man, I seem to agree with your arguments.

God help us all!

rethots said...

" duty to make him work harder to give us a better life." this is simply brilliant.

"...I divorced him before...." haba, know you not that the 'divorce' is best served cold (oops, after he's proposed)?

Vera Ezimora said...

LOL. Carry go jare, my sister! Which house man/husband be that one? Unless there is something physically/technically/legally stopping him from working, his butt should be working. I need him to work! Even if my salary can support us both plus all our yet-to-be-met extended family, he must still work by fire.

LOL @ divorcing your future husband before marriage. Nne, you too bad oh. I guess the divorce works better before the marriage (than after)