Friday, 18 February 2011

Love and other stories...

Last night, while chaperoning my friend on his beer drinking parade which in my opinion is happening all too frequently (His beer drinking i.e) but that is another day's blog. I met a couple. I have seen them together a few years ago. We belonged to the same watering hole. They looked sorta odd. With my 'people watching' experience I kinda assumed she was probably too good for him anyway. Fast forward a few months later, they had a child together. Anyway out of curiosity [tatafoness] I asked them how long they had been together (as I noticed she didn't have a wedding ring on). He replied they had been together for 7 years. Waoh. I had too many questions at once. I mean, 7 years and you can't keep your hands off each other? You have a baby and yet unmarried? You don't even live together? How does this work? How can you even be with someone for 7 years and still love them this much? There is always this voice within me that tells me I couldn't possibly love someone more than a couple of years. Is it different with me or does everyone have such morbid thoughts sometimes.?

They both smiled. The lady seemed feisty and the guy rugged yet gentle with her. He said simply. ''I love her....she is my life....I love her''. She on the other hand was brutally honest ''there are times when I want to kill him, when he is really pissing me off.'' I urged her to go on ''There are times when I don't even see him for weeks, but in all of this I have come to realize that love is not a feeling. For me, it is a decision. I have decided that this is the man I want to be with and stick with through thick and thin''. It made me have other ideas. My mind drifted off to people I decided NOT to love and people I chose to love. Then I looked at my friend beside me and thought if love is a decision then I have decided NOT to love this man.

M'je

15 comments:

Ibhade {NG} said...

ahahahahahaaaa@ your last line... ..you are damn funny...love a decision?..yeah! i can relate to that becox there are times a spouse can put one in a killing rage! or makes you scream blue murder! or makes you go gaga!...but one always stays & wonder why? YES, IT'S DEFINITELY A DECISION!

but 7years & not married?..that is a risk on the gals part ooo..the guy might meet someone else tomorrow & like a whirlwind, marry his new love,leaving her to raise up the child alone.

Nutty J. said...

I knew that already...lmao.

But seriously I've always known that the love that lasts forever is the one based on decision not feelings.

Too often the man of most women's dream always turn out to be the one that would haunt their dreams later...

kitkat said...

i've always felt like i cnt possibly love sum1 more than 2yrs max, and thats if we arent always all up in each others space.
but yea, i guess love is more like a decision.. i mean, look at those married couples that stick together for like 50yrs. i dnt think their bellies still do flip flops when they look at each other but they've come to love and appreciate their relationship.
lool @ ur last statement

Mamuje said...

Ibhade- my dear seems the lady had the upper hand in their relationship......from where I was sitting sha.

Nutty J- na wa for this love matter sha.

Kitkat- certainly no flip flops after half a century. Lol

Ginger said...

Mamuje you sef! That last line...lol.

I have them feelings too - that I will get bored with my 'forever' partner sooner than I can wear out my bedroom slippers. It is a scary feeling.
But I am also of the belief that 'love is a decision' so I guess I will keep repairing the slippers and manage it till age do us part...

@ilola said...

You believe you can't love for long? Well, I believe I can love for a life time cos I se old happy couples and I know their happiness is genuine. Love is definitely a decision and has nothing to do with feelings cos feelings come, geelings go and they cannot be trusted.

Mamuje said...

Ginger- wetin i for do now?

@ilola- well that's the feeling I have had for a while now. Lucky I am not the only one feeling like that. I am being realistic. Feelings wear off...hence why most people think love is a decision.

tattytiara said...

I like the way you write. All meat, no filler!

Natural Nigerian said...

I like your last line. Very practical decision.

Sisi Yemmie ™ said...

LMAO! at the last line!!! Ive been dating my dude for 8 yrs now, he says 7, i say 8, men cant count.lol....and i think after awhile u get used to loving each other....and yes ure right, love is a decision...lol

Mamuje said...

Tatty tiara- thanks a lot babe. Lovely to have you here.

Natural Nigerian- practical my friend. Too practical.

Sidi Yemmie- dating for 8 years.....just dating??? Ah....No Comment ;)

awittyfool said...

funny but so very true. sometimes d person does somethings dat make you go: "I WILL love him. I WILL love him. I WIILL love him."
ps: who is this 'him' dat we are deciding NOT to love?

Mamuje said...

Witty fool- this ya tatafo eh..... I no dey tell you anything.

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