Friday, 27 May 2011

Wedding in absentia...

Wedding in absentia.....Yay or Nay?

I called my banker the other day to get some information about my account and she told me she was on her honeymoon and away from work. I was taken aback because the last I knew she wasn't seeing anyone and suddenly she was married. I congratulated her and asked about her husband and she said he was in America.... While I was trying to figure out how there was a honeymoon without a 'honey' she dropped the bomb that the wedding was in absentia. *long pause*....That sounds plausible...a marriage without a groom and a honeymoon without a honey. I mean, seriously it doesn't. Whats the rush anyway? Even a shot-gun wedding shouldn't be done in absentia. Something doesn't feel right. I could never feel as if I am properly married. Having a parent or a sibling absent from a wedding is bad enough but my better half is waaaaaaaaay out of the equation.

Long distance relationships are bad enough, but a marriage by proxy is much more than I can handle. More often than not a marriage in absentia occurs as a result of visa issues. I find its all too rampant in Edo state where I come from, a few months ago my mum was gearing up indecisively for a distant relatives wedding in Lagos.....a few days to the wedding she casually dropped a hint that the wedding was in absentia as both the bride and groom won't be present for the wedding as they both had visa issues in Germany. The look on my face told her what I had in mind. She wasn't going for any wedding where enlarged framed photographs were used to represent couples on their wedding day. In some cases where one of the couples was present (usually the groom is away) they use a representative, especially someone close to the groom, like a cousin or someone who knows a lot about the groom. In the 21st century where technology is readily available, there could be a conference call or a webcam where groom sees what's going on throughout the event.

Dare I say I am a helpless romantic and for me I can understand an introduction ceremony but a traditional or white wedding is totally out of the question. For its its more physical that anything else, I want to hold him, feel him and touch him on my wedding day. If distance is a barrier then I am afraid our love is just gonna stand the test of time, test of distance and test of time-zones. I don't think my heart can't take it. Sorry, it's a big NAY from me!

Joking apart, I can understand how a wedding in absentia operates but what goes on during a honeymoon in absentia? Don't tell me it's phone sex and skype sex all the way? Bladdy hell?!

So tell me, what are your opinions about a Wedding in absentia?



Ginger said...

Bladder hell no to a wedding in absentia too. Whats that? I want a flesh and blood man by my side pls. Na wa, s babe was taking picture with frame or what?? I dont know who invented it or why people are adopting it but its just sad.sad.sad.
But really if it must happen i.e. to fulfill all traditional righteousness like the Germany-bound couple maybe. But it should be a quiet exchange of dowry between immediate family involved not big parry.

LadyNgo said...

Man, that couldn't be me at all lol. A wedding with no groom? Thats not a wedding then. And no a "representative" will not suffice. Honeymoon without the honey is nothing more than a vacation lol. Like Ginger said, if both parties can't be there then there really shouldn't be all the festivity. If its possible, just wait until you both can be together.

Fluffycutething said...

Be there shaking your head if to say that Turk don gree look your side, we'd have been planning same for you *** winks*** LOL LOL

Sugabelly said...

Wow, I didn't know that was possible.

Fluffycutething said...

Seriously though i dont dig the idea too though i hear/understand that wedding pictures+marriage certificates facilitate the ease of visa/stay/resident permits in such cases....

Which may be why people still engage in such blatant nonsense!!!

I attended one with a friend years back and we kept wondering whether to greet the bride's sister who was representing the bride "congratulations"

kitkat said...

LOL she shldnt say she's on honeymoon cos there's no groom with her, she shlda simply said she's on vacation lol.
My uncle married his wife in absentia. He's in ATL while she's still in naij. I still dnt get why she hasnt been able to obtain a visa to see her husband up till today. Their marriage is retricted to phone calls and skype..smh

Nice Anon said...

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! i don't what's even funnier? That she had a wedding in absentia? or that she dey honeymoon on her own?

Tega said...


Nay o...and I absolutely don't get that honeymoon in absentia or even both parties been absent and I know say condition de make crayfish bend sometimes but o boi!!!!...I will just wait till when we can be together...

@ilola said...

Loooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllll. Lai lai, lets not deceive ourselves, she aint honeymooning anything. she shoulda gone to meet the guy wherever he is naaaa.


Lara said...

Honeymoon in absentia, I have never heard of that one before.
Wedding in absentia, I have seen many times and I just shake my head...I must it has reduced, there was a time, when it was the norm for couples where one party is based abroad.

Mamuje said...

My people the thing tire me.....I guess some of us have to count our lucky stars that we don't find ourselves in situations like that. Long distance relationships of any sort are difficult, let a lone a marriage. I wish her all the best.... But from experience these unions rarely last...sigh

doll said...

honeymoon in absentia. WOW!!!!LMAO. now that is something new.

Even the wedding in absentia, why not just pay the dowry and get it over with, why have a party????

SHE said...

I've always thought it was kinda desperate to marry another person's picture. Maybe it makes sense to the people though...

But honeymoon in absentia??!

Myne Whitman said...

Nay to both! But the honeymoon in absentia get as e be o?

Parakeet said... can a wedding in absentia be a proper marriage?

Big NO NO!

Mamuje said...

Doll- you read my mind. Why ridicule yourself by have a ceremony when the families can exchange gifts and cash quietly.

SHE & Myne- Abi?

Parakeet- my point exactly.

princess said...

lovely thoughts you share kip it up sis

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