Friday, 25 November 2011

The snooperholic!

So she comes crying to me the other day. Bloodshot eyes. Puffy cheeks and whatnot. It was my birthday and I wasn't going to allow her dampened mood cut short my joy. I knew what she needed. Sadly or 'Unsadly' I am the straight talking- brutally honest woman and not afraid to tell it like it is. I told her to come over lets talk about it. Before she even started I gave it to her fair and square "If you have no plans of leaving your fiancee for good why snoop around on him. What good is that going to do for you?".... I cant for the life of me understand why some women want to give themselves unnecessary heartache. I learnt. I learnt very early on in my dating career that what you don't know doesn't kill you. Besides I don't need to know everything....just enough information to make me happy. I do not condone cheating from either party. But if you are going to forgive your boyfriend after he cheats why even bother snooping around in the first place?

This is a no-brainer. Why find out he is cheating then forgive him afterwards?

Let me a tell you a story. A few years ago I walked into my boyfriend chatting with his Ex... I peered over his shoulder and could see my name on google chat. When he went for a run I opened his computer and checked his chat history and lo and behold, my worst fears were confirmed. For days it felt like a pairing knife was nested in my chest. I confronted him about a week later. He turned it on me and broke up with me. I was crushed. He couldn't deal with the lack of trust. I quickly learned that if you love someone and not ready to cause yourself unnecessary wahala then let sleeping dogs lie. Pointing out that he is cheating and taking him back is like flogging a dead horse. I am against animal cruelty jor.

It beats me when some women go the extra mile to rat out their cheating husbands. Fight with his concubine as if its solely 'her' fault... acquire amateur detective skills yet stay with the cheat. Why raise your blood pressure unnecessarily? Going through your partner's phone/facebook account/ email is certainly a No No and I would be mortified if a man goes through my phone. Sorry, I wont allow it. I may not have anything to hide but my phone and email are certainly none of your business unless we have a joint email account or phone. Sadly, a cheat doesn't change because you accuse him/her and threaten to leave him/her a thousand times. He will keep cheating because you have allowed it happen once.... same applies to women bashers and the likes.

Zip it or end the relationship. If you have too much time on your hands, invest in a hobby, sport or hone your cooking skills. Stop whining and then take him back. Worse than a dog going back to its vomit.

M'je

Photo from google images

7 comments:

Tamunoibifiri Mobolaji-Kamson said...

very true dear. i always never get it why wives beat their husbands mistresses when its the men they should deal with. for me snooping around is just a waste do time and energy.
www.secretlilies.blogspot.com

Nolimit said...

Ouch!!! this is what I call 2bitter pill" food for thought...hmmmm
Okay I'm done thinking...I guess she snooped because she wanted to know, she probably doesn't want to leave him, but she wanted a listening ear to let off steam.
Having said that, your advice to her is very wise... why waste time letting off steam through talking/bad mouthing the guy when you know you'll still be in the relationship when you can pick up a new hobby:)

Myne Whitman said...

totally agree. Unless you're ready to do something about the situation, better not go snooping at all.

Nefertity with a Y said...

as I say, ignorance is bliss biko I no Dey for snooping ooh!
LOVELY BLOG YOU HAVE HERE.......

Nutty J. said...

Exactly! if you are not going to do anything about it, why look for the information in the first place...

Snooping around should be because you are looking for a tangible reason to LEAVE

LucidLilith said...

Love hurts. A lot. You really can't make sense with someone in love and is hurting. They have to hit rock bottom and survive the impact.

Ginger said...

Exactly NuttyJ.
I am a snooperholic. but i will confess that i only get that way when i am suspicious...then i go into info-gathering mode to determine my next move.