It recently came to light that there has been an allocation of N1Billion Naira ($6Million) for our President's 2012 feeding allowance. As a foodie and enjoyment minister I was particularly interested as to how they would achieve that in Aso rock. Unfortunately I have champagne tastes on a beer salary but given the chance I would know how to spend the money...so i stole sometime out today to create a budget on how I would spend $6M on feeding if I was the first lady of the nation... This comes with the entire package from the choicest ingredients, to the logistics then the manpower... not forgetting the sycophants. Remember, if you have a billion Naira to spend on food annually, your sycophants will come in droves.Here is how to do it Mamuje style:
A Michelin star chef’s ANNUAL salary is $150,000 (N24,900,000)
A Michelin star chef’s ANNUAL salary is $150,000 (N24,900,000)
A Sous Chef ANNUAL salary is $45,000 (N7,470,000)
5 Kitchen Assistants $20,000 each/ $100,000 (N16,600,000)
Private Jet Flights to bring in food- $237,600 (N39,441,600)
Vintage wines. Lafite Rothschild wines. 240 bottles. $68,400 (N22,708,800).
Louis XIII Remy Martin cognac. 20 bottles $70,000 (N11,620,000)
2 pounds of Saffron $22,000
Caviar $10,000
Kobe Beef $15,000
When I am feeling peckish i’d hop on a private jet to Italy to eat one of the most expensive pizzas in the world. Valued at 8300 Euro, can be tasted in Italy. With generous toppings of caviar and lobster, the pizza has a diameter of 20cm and Louis XIII Remy Martin cognac poured all over it. (N1,826,000) Afterall a common Beyonce once flew in curry from the UK to the US via private jet because she loved it so much. I could easily just have a pizza party for 83,000 Euros for pizza alone.
Kopi Luwak Sumatra coffee $2000
The collosseo Oro kitchen for a staggering $480,000
Wedgwood Crystal $300,000 (Includes Decanters, Goblets, Champagne flutes, brandy glasses, fruit bowls etc)
Truffles $5000 If you think the truffles I am talking about are chocolates then you have no business with allocating a budget of N1Billion for feeding in the first place. Hian!
So far, I have managed to spend (in my mind) a whooping $1.6M (about N264 M) and thats stretching it. Even if you include all the starch and banga the Bayelsans can eat. It still wont cut it. I can see our future slowly disintegrating into quick sand. The same president who was supposed to come save the people is now eating our coffers clean. Where are the GEJ enthusiasts when you need them? They've all suddenly become deaf, dumb and stupid. It is well with Nigeria.
M'je
Pic gotten from google images
Info gotten from wacky facts online
Louis XIII Remy Martin cognac. 20 bottles $70,000 (N11,620,000)
2 pounds of Saffron $22,000
Caviar $10,000
Kobe Beef $15,000
When I am feeling peckish i’d hop on a private jet to Italy to eat one of the most expensive pizzas in the world. Valued at 8300 Euro, can be tasted in Italy. With generous toppings of caviar and lobster, the pizza has a diameter of 20cm and Louis XIII Remy Martin cognac poured all over it. (N1,826,000) Afterall a common Beyonce once flew in curry from the UK to the US via private jet because she loved it so much. I could easily just have a pizza party for 83,000 Euros for pizza alone.
Kopi Luwak Sumatra coffee $2000
The collosseo Oro kitchen for a staggering $480,000
Wedgwood Crystal $300,000 (Includes Decanters, Goblets, Champagne flutes, brandy glasses, fruit bowls etc)
Truffles $5000 If you think the truffles I am talking about are chocolates then you have no business with allocating a budget of N1Billion for feeding in the first place. Hian!
So far, I have managed to spend (in my mind) a whooping $1.6M (about N264 M) and thats stretching it. Even if you include all the starch and banga the Bayelsans can eat. It still wont cut it. I can see our future slowly disintegrating into quick sand. The same president who was supposed to come save the people is now eating our coffers clean. Where are the GEJ enthusiasts when you need them? They've all suddenly become deaf, dumb and stupid. It is well with Nigeria.
M'je
Pic gotten from google images
Info gotten from wacky facts online
12 comments:
He has banned gay marriage, the bane of our existence. He is working hard. 1 billion or 1 trillion, he should carry go joo.
All our politicians deserve the 14 year prison sentence they recommended for gay people.
How profligate can someone be biko nu?
It will be well. *sigh*
@Prism, I second dat motion. 14years wuld be too easy sef. 1 billion?!?! When millions survive on less than N100 a day. Smh
*sigh*. Mouth dey pain me
Na wa o
Na real wa my people. All the same. May the good Lord in his infinite mercy protect Nigeria from its wastefulness.
Some people think you-know-who is not very smart. Apparently not when it comes to "feeding".
*lips are sealed*
He's totally forgotten his purpose in that presidency...
It is kuku well with Nigeria... hmmm
Give me a Billion Naira people and my village (not just my family) will not go hungry in years.
I swear you just made me hate being poor.
Hey thanks for this good post
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