Thursday, 29 December 2011

What are you thankful for?

I was chatting with Ms K the other day and we shared our Christmas stories and she asked me what I got for Christmas. I said nothing. She thought that was odd and she shared her endless list of Christmas pressies which included a coat, perfume...blah, blah and more blah.... It kept me wondering. Pondering. I did not do anything for Christmas and New Year because I had to make sacrifices. Give gifts for the Christmas. To people who needed them and I look at my shelve its bare. The only cards/diaries in my office are from clients who I have done a significant amount of business with. Which is pathetic actually... Oh and a load of generic Yuletide text messages which I don't subscribe to anyway. Not even from my staff who got hefty bonuses and a week off during the holiday (considering this is my busiest season) and not even a Christmas card to say thanks. Only one of them sent a 'thank you' text and came late to work the next day. I can't say I am pleased about it. I am quite miffed actually that people just assume you owe them. I have come to the conclusion that humans are programmed that way. We take things for granted. We forget.

I woke up this morning (well its been like that for a few months) and barely said a prayer. All that concerned me was getting to the shop and getting on with business for the day. How would God feel? I have taken for granted 'life' because I get it everyday. I kinda know the importance of a grateful heart NOW as I grow older and have more responsibilities and have to deal with ungrateful people who are under my care. I guess it's the same way my creator feels when he knows he can take me anytime he pleases. I guess that's why we encounter new challenges and obstacles as a reminder that we have a creator and maker who we run to in time of need.

So as 2012 draws closer, all I care about is a heart of gratitude. I just want to give thanks to God for sparing my life everyday, for my family for my health, food and everything else in between. I am certain that a heart of gratitude is the way to bring more into my life so....He must feel really awful about my ingratitude. I don't think my life is more precious to him than my brother who died untimely in October or more precious that those who were killed in the bomb blast in church while I was snoring comfortably in my bed. I am not better than them.

So on that note I ask you: Have you said your thanks today?


Pic from google images

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

How to spend a Billion on feeding annually

It recently came to light that there has been an allocation of N1Billion Naira ($6Million) for our President's 2012 feeding allowance. As a foodie and enjoyment minister I was particularly interested as to how they would achieve that in Aso rock. Unfortunately I have champagne tastes on a beer salary but given the chance I would know how to spend the i stole sometime out today to create a budget on how I would spend $6M on feeding if I was the first lady of the nation... This comes with the entire package from the choicest ingredients, to the logistics then the manpower... not forgetting the sycophants. Remember, if you have a billion Naira to spend on food annually, your sycophants will come in droves.
Here is how to do it Mamuje style:

A Michelin star chef’s ANNUAL salary is $150,000 (N24,900,000)

A Sous Chef ANNUAL salary is $45,000 (N7,470,000)

5 Kitchen Assistants $20,000 each/ $100,000 (N16,600,000)

Private Jet Flights to bring in food- $237,600 (N39,441,600)

Vintage wines. Lafite Rothschild wines. 240 bottles. $68,400 (N22,708,800).

Louis XIII Remy Martin cognac. 20 bottles $70,000 (N11,620,000)

2 pounds of Saffron $22,000

Caviar $10,000

Kobe Beef $15,000

When I am feeling peckish i’d hop on a private jet to Italy to eat one of the most expensive pizzas in the world. Valued at 8300 Euro, can be tasted in Italy. With generous toppings of caviar and lobster, the pizza has a diameter of 20cm and Louis XIII Remy Martin cognac poured all over it. (N1,826,000) Afterall a common Beyonce once flew in curry from the UK to the US via private jet because she loved it so much. I could easily just have a pizza party for 83,000 Euros for pizza alone.

Kopi Luwak Sumatra coffee $2000

The collosseo Oro kitchen for a staggering $480,000

Wedgwood Crystal $300,000 (Includes Decanters, Goblets, Champagne flutes, brandy glasses, fruit bowls etc)

Truffles $5000 If you think the truffles I am talking about are chocolates then you have no business with allocating a budget of N1Billion for feeding in the first place. Hian!

So far, I have managed to spend (in my mind) a whooping $1.6M (about N264 M) and thats stretching it. Even if you include all the starch and banga the Bayelsans can eat. It still wont cut it. I can see our future slowly disintegrating into quick sand. The same president who was supposed to come save the people is now eating our coffers clean. Where are the GEJ enthusiasts when you need them? They've all suddenly become deaf, dumb and stupid. It is well with Nigeria.


Pic gotten from google images

Info gotten from wacky facts online

Monday, 19 December 2011


Compliments of the season my blog fam. Its been a minute and a bit again. The month of December is my busiest period and I have barely stopped to catch my breath. This year has been the most trying business wise. I learnt a lot from past business mistakes, all the errors came to bite me in the ass. There is no friend or family in business. IF you must do, then do so wisely. So I am picking up the pieces and making the most/best of it. You live and learn, they say.

My mission in the last quarter of the year is to give dating a chance. (Like seriously, I mean)... I cant believe how tasking and daunting it can be. From picking the appropriate outfit to choosing a suitable place etc etc. There is a tiny voice inside of me praying fervently for God to bring that special someone so I don't have to endure boring dinners and conversations. My life is a soap opera I tell ya.

I have been so busy and been getting quite forgetful lately. Too forgetful in fact. Last week I forgot one sandal at the supermarket. No! I wasn't trying out shoes there, they don't even sell shoes there. I just forget and when I got back to the office I realized I was a sandal short. Please don't ask.....then on Friday I forgot my handbag at a customers office. So i decided to take Saturday off and sleep it off.

Yesterday, I had a Christmas party for my friends. It was the biggest event I have ever had at my place. It was swell. Like literally, my knees are swollen from too much komole dancing. I made a nice spread. From pepper soup to Puff puff and then my ever so popular ram stew.... one amazing guest brought Palm-wine. It was a blast. You know you had a great party when you have guests passed out on the couch the next morning.

I'd be working over Christmas. That's what I do. Not going out of town like I'd normally do. Frankly, I am too skint too go anywhere as I had my fair share of holidays in 2011. Don't know what 2012 will bring.... but I am optimistic.

In other news. I have NO opinion about Bishop Oyedepo slapping the 'witch for Jesus' nor do I have an opinion about the new toll fee for Lekki residents.... or even the 14 year jail-term for homosexuals who marry in Nigeria because I cant make any sense out of it. *insert blank stare*

What will you be doing for Christmas?