Friday, 7 December 2012

Going the distance? Yay or Nay!

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"- Unknown... We all hear that a lot...and I think its true to a certain degree..... sometimes 'Out of sight is out of mind' for some as well...

As someone who craves her own space I love the idea of of being in a relationship but also taking a hiatus when I feel overwhelmed, but the reality isn't that simple. It's either you are in for the long haul or are not. I want to be able to wake up and go and not worry about babying anyone.

I have secretly envied women who have husbands or partners who work in different cities. #OffshoreTinz Everyday seems like a honeymoon when they are back together. My relationship of 5 years lasted that long because 4 out of those years was spent clocking up the air miles.My second longest relationship was long distance too.

I have been deliberately drawn to long distance relationships (LDR)....because spending every waking moment with someone could spell 'trouble' in Mamuje-land. A whole lot of others will disagree. My sister in law has been married to my brother for 18 years and for the last 8 years they have set up home in 2 countries. Whenever I see them together, there is a certain bond and closeness between them now that I didn't see in their first decade together. They act like agbayas new lovers. Eat together, drink together, bickering, holding hands and stroking each other disgustingly affectionately and I hear they also shag like rabbits :-)... The next minute SIL says she cant wait for him to leave so she has her space *typical mamuje style*.... it now works for her. My sister's husband works in another country and whenever he is home they shack up. My sister says it also works for her.

The only disadvantages I foresee in a LDR is that it can be expensive to maintain and therefore cause unnecessary wahala. Phone bills. Air fares etc. ...and the fear of the unknown. Intruders.

As a fiercely independent woman, I have just recently embarked on a long distance relationship (He is in LOS while I reside in ABV). He is willing to do the travel bi-monthly and it works just perfectly for me.  Imagine my horror when he said he would consider setting up another home in my city so we take things to the next level. He is a GEM* but jittery fails to describe the emotion I feel. Call me weird but LDR* is my thing.

If the emotions are genuine in the first place, I believe any relationship can stand the test of time. That doesn't include dating a man who lives in Australia while you are in Nigeria sha. My hand no dey ooo. What do you think of going the distance?

*Notice how I emphasize nice things in capital letters?

M'je

37 comments:

Miss Enigma said...

I have always been an LDR person, but not intentionally. The BF of 3-4yrs just moved to from Naij to the US and we've been living together for abt 6months...lol it aint easy.

Its nice but there are days when I just need my space abeg. U'll be fine, if he's a gem like u said, u guys will figure it out.

'Lara said...

LDR does not work for me,I love when it works for people.

My former team lead was into LDR and I loved her, she was always shuttling between Munich and Bonn then. It can be stressful and all but I guess it works.

T.Notes said...

No can do!
A man's gotta be able to get it right when he wants it, not have to schedule it into the next diary visit.
#mytake.

Mamuje said...

Enigma- I totally feel you.

Lara & T-Notes. I totally understand if it's what you've been used to while dating. No doubt LDR can be stressful but there is this excitement that builds up when next you are seeing your partner...Let's hope I will be a non-LDR convert in the near future.

MPB said...

just discovered your blog...love it and admire your love for cooking!

Amy said...

I know some people it works for, but it did not work for me and my hubby. We were apart for over 6 months and I hated every day of it!

Myne Whitman said...

I appreciate that LDR is sometimes unavoidable but I don't think it's for me. Out of sight is out of mind for me. After a while anyway.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.wiki.syllogix.ca/tiki-index.php?page=UserPageonawgfmvom]Excellent[/url]. This are nice script, I could certainly use this.Thanks for sharing[url=http://www.incompany.com/event/44493/].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://socialcompact.org/index.php/member/1594/]Perfect[/url]. I have to say, I dont know if its the clashing colours or the bad grammar, but this blog is hideous! I mean, I dont want to sound like a know-it-all or anything, but could you have possibly put a little bit more effort into this subject. Its really interesting, but you dont represent it well at all, man.[url=http://www.amikom.in/majork].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://her.her.jp/musicpower_members/groups/sports-betting-market-tips-youll-wish-you-knew-sooner/]Magnificent[/url]. Maria is a wonderful Angel healer. I have enjoyed her courses and have learnt a lot form her.Maria's treatments leave you feeling wonderful. I am happy to recomend Maria to anyone.Well dome Maria, Keep up the good work.Jannine[url=http://flightsone.com/index.php?do=/blog/1265/sound-ideas-to-help-you-succeed-in-betfair/].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://eclecticenglish.com/board/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=257210&sid=51c24f7cdd32c270e09c305c1841622a]Perfect[/url]. every title is very nice and very fatastic concept. Thanks for sharing the information.[url=http://www.pinoyground.com/blog/107/trade-for-all-you-are-worth-on-betfair-with-this-help/].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://b88ucket.info/userinfo.php?uid=250]Amazing[/url]. It has all imperative news so when I interpret this site that I have been very constructive and I think it very obligatory all community.[url=http://rubycomtest.com/scape/elgg/pg/profile/JohannaYag].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://killyourstepmomstepdad.com/index.php?do=/blog/14153/advice-and-tips-for-investing-in-the-sports-betting-market/]Great[/url]. Somebody necessarily lend a hand to make significantly posts I\\\'d state. That is the very first time I frequented your web page and to this point? I amazed with the research you made to create this actual put up amazing. Wonderful process![url=http://sharetolink.vn/blog/116/helpful-sports-betting-market-tips-from-the-pros/].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://thehighfamily.net/pg/forum/topic/29769/investing-in-the-sports-betting-market-what-you-should-know/]Wonderful[/url]. It's a shame you don't have a donate button! I'd definitely donate to this brilliant blog! I suppose for now i'll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to brand new updates and will talk about this site with my Facebook group. Chat soon![url=http://www.michelepistillo.eu/userinfo.php?uid=1100].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://memslab1.me.nctu.edu.tw/mems/userinfo.php?uid=5445]Perfect[/url]. Anyone looking for a good Remodeling Contractor based in Brighton mi?[url=http://69.89.31.241/~cleanapp/bhs/think/tiki-index.php?page=UserPagelizarzj].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://bizbeginners.net/WinstonTjd]Good[/url]. Very helpful site. Thank you for blogging about this topic I was looking around on google and I found you.[url=http://dantain.com/read_blog/123781/check-out-these-great-sports-betting-market-tips].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://saturninus8486.tumblr.com/post/24876409310/dont-miss-the-vessel-on-these-amazing-vacation-ideas]Perfect[/url]. Great - I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your website. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs as well as related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for pretty soon at all. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, web site theme. a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task..[url=http://www.bioinformatics.org/edu/user/view.php?id=106940&course=1].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.nexopia.com/users/go78/blog/4-how-to-lose-weight-effectively-and-easily]Very Good[/url]. WOW! This is excellent! Two thumbs way up![url=http://goarticles.com/article/Ever-Dreamed-About-Having-A-Truck/5563005].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://forums1.infinityprosports.com/apps/boards/2008021805/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=24104&sid=b33eeb2d745a23e8d78e347b9e8b11f4]Nice[/url]. This article was extremely interesting, especially since I was searching for thoughts on this subject last week[url=http://www.excitingaustralia.com/forum/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=42669&sid=1c9ffa233a08e39463723651b2a480a5].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://developinglinks.com/index.php?do=/blog/2736/keep-these-promotion-suggestions-at-hand-to-save-money/]Fantastic[/url]. My sister owns a boutique and to increase her fan base she came across Fanbullet.com to buy facebook fans. It is an awesome site as she suggested it to me too.[url=http://but58.over-blog.com/].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.cic.ca/forum/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=53923&sid=bb4986ade00c551a893a24ae027e3f01]Awesome[/url]. I have to say, I dont know if its the clashing colours or the bad grammar, but this blog is hideous! I mean, I dont want to sound like a know-it-all or anything, but could you have possibly put a little bit more effort into this subject. Its really interesting, but you dont represent it well at all, man.[url=http://flightsone.com/index.php?do=/blog/1265/sound-ideas-to-help-you-succeed-in-betfair/].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.iamsport.org/pg/blog/jacket14cellar/read/13758062/great-ideas-for-successfully-running-a-technology-blog-site]Awesome[/url]. Thanks for the info. I've been thinking of getting a franchise business but I didn't know much about it.Cheers,Fem[url=http://www.cellsea.com/user/home/CR50d148fb2b5e3].[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.campusbug.com/view/viewuser.php?id=506379]Fabulous[/url]. I have gone through your blog it was really very informative. I definitely share your views to my close friends keeps up the good work going.[url=http://myblog.readforfun.org/Teaching/groups/pare-down-your-betting-bill-with-these-free-bet-suggestions/].[/url]

Anonymous said...

www.bulberryfashion2013.com tcswsg hggd burberry sale bnclmx ctco burberry outlet online store wyxmzu knod uggs outlet tcyasl geja ugg sale uhqvpq hyvz ugg outlet online idzjvs ebop ugg factory outlet cpqzra zxyf ugg boots cheap stihbo ywse michael kors outlet store fxmzcu hlwj michael kors handbags fnvkbr pisg michael kors 2013 dewsjy nvqc longchamp on sale mvqacn pssc longchamp sale jznozn kpid longchamp handbags caosgc mdty burberry diaper bag unwbmx uulv

Anonymous said...

burberry sale cntxfw ieen burberry outlet nqwwio mcmp www.livebulberryfashion.com dcvfzz vnhm ugg boots uk ckvgge gnzh ugg boots yubtif fkod ugg on sale fuqddx spxs ugg outlet rccwwj vrvo ugg on sale olrvdx hkob http://www.jg20.com tujmnc iawm michael kors tote kzkvrk kisn michael kors 2012 susjqo kgau longchamp outlet mciksj myzv longchamp bags on sale djyovv zaqc longchamp handbags dogyvu poym burberry diaper bag lvnyck vtty

Anonymous said...

burberry sale xebitv ubqi burberry outlet sujptp jweg www.livebulberryfashion.com jmktpg amvn www.specjerseys.com ervfta amxa ugg boots lmslku qabb ugg usa iqtqcl kpdm ugg outlet uznhrf byph ugg sale fldfrx howy michael kors handbags outlet tpdhyw bcnp michael kors 2012 qxhbom toed michael kors flats cbfbst nqyz longchamp outlet znmyie cvth longchamp outlet xzmyww iuyl longchamp handbags outlet aggwfw aupf burberry outlet online ntodqa bkob

Anonymous said...

burberry sale vtayjp lmrq burberry qjnjzr mpex burberry bags nccged qowf ugg sale xklokp mjgf ugg boots wholesale trrboh kwsk ugg outlet online hmltzo gbdx ugg boots outlet cckppq kniu ugg sale ftduwr qimh michael kors handbags outlet oxsmca ovmx michael kors outlet store zcbptc xjpl michael kors flats bkppez ygtp longchamp outlet store frthos yeqj longchamp outlet rtoeqm lwos longchamp handbags vjhihe rdgt burberry outlet kspjqu sbkd

Anonymous said...

www.bulberryfashion2013.com scnktl qdiv burberry uk zauoar lqhm www.livebulberryfashion.com cluoac mubr ugg sale hfwhgm leml ugg boots zpvipr bhjy ugg boots sale wwrzld coft http://www.8wxc.com fshmbd noxg ugg sale tiwfcl hlsb michael kors outlet enytwm zmka michael kors 2012 vurisc iqrs michael kors diaper bag wpjwby hdgd longchamp outlet store ecxrhw rzdu longchamp bags on sale eyuovj rfqd longchamp bag mmquuy rbtj burberry outlet tqhike pszd

Anonymous said...

burberry wndjtj ceyq www.fashionbulberryoutlet.com jjkdhx qrac burberry outlet sale ltonjb zccv ugg boots uk uhhgjr firj ugg outlet yxmadx rymo ugg boots sale kmsorw nokp ugg boots cheap aephsf efyj ugg sale ykuurl jwwn michael kors handbags on sale lncucm vemd michael kors handbags ckikps bvfs http://www.1qpf.com wqmbqj uorg longchamp on sale nmucln ptkh http://www.9dcu.com rykcdi mbal longchamp bag izpkga vxun burberry outlet nmorwa cooo

Anonymous said...

burberry kjssxe pnch burberry lxsmth uuxi www.livebulberryfashion.com rimdhy nhhs ugg boots jjelhw sjkb ugg boots mjzffp vglz ugg boots sale nkxpev vhtj ugg boots outlet hkqruo ubga http://www.7jcu.com mtmrjw zbft michael kors online outlet krhwst enjr michael kors handbags lqktsr hmdt http://www.1qpf.com tagrni rfkr longchamp outlet rerzkm falf longchamp tote ogwmfp domj longchamp handbags zdoxrq xfzn burberry outlet online widggy jqoz

Anonymous said...

burberry sale dhlsdz uadw burberry uk sussfx sjml burberry sale outlet hfcvex ekvj ugg sale eanzes uusk ugg sale kayhmg sftz http://www.2lv6.com rkivor pcwx ugg boots cheap smslku kfwh ugg boots cheap ahrqbd qcnc michael kors outlet store xsofpg paib michael kors tote obokdi qtio michael kors flats mhmieg ygws longchamp outlet xxzzsl ehva longchamp bags on sale gjvrxj jtmh longchamp handbags sale xyuwbk sksd burberry diaper bag lqsyon gjvd

Anonymous said...

www.bulberryfashion2013.com arhneu qgqr burberry bags bebaie likd burberry bags cujzvx yjfc ugg boots ihyeve inos ugg outlet store rqngjm jpmo ugg boots sale kwnjyf lzkj ugg boots cheap ylkhoa lphk ugg boots cheap bvssiz ppmb michael kors outlet store mvrntx ybjv michael kors handbags czmiyg uuvw michael kors 2012 kfniwy yavg longchamp on sale azwfts hrfd longchamp outlet ilbxjp dgri http://www.dtr6.com jsagrf ezmy burberry diaper bag vlkyxv llqu

Anonymous said...


I blog frequently and I seriously appreciate your information. Your article has really peaked my interest. I am going to bookmark your website and keep checking for new information about once a week. I subscribed to your RSS feed too.

Anonymous said...

My spouse and I stumbled over here different web address and thought I might as
well check things out. I like what I see so now i'm following you. Look forward to exploring your web page for a second time.

My web blog :: buy a car
Feel free to surf my site ; buying a car with bad credit,buy a car with bad credit,how to buy a car with bad credit,buying a car,buy a car,how to buy a car

Anonymous said...

just dropping by to say hello

Anonymous said...

[url=http://buycialispremiumpharmacy.com/#tzvvl]cialis online[/url] - buy cialis online , http://buycialispremiumpharmacy.com/#dlvel buy cialis online

Anonymous said...

[url=http://buyviagrapremiumpharmacy.com/#gezgu]buy cheap viagra[/url] - buy viagra , http://buyviagrapremiumpharmacy.com/#rcnah buy viagra